Grandma's scare and my residual "pourings out"

So today I had the shit scared out of me...sorry, there's just no other way to say it. That's the only thing that comes to mind. For maybe the 3rd time in my life, I broke down and went hysterical because I thought my world was crashing. Tiffany called me at I think 1:00 or so and said that Grandma (GmaY~~Dad's mom) had a heart attack and they were on the way to the hospital and had already lost her once...and that was all they knew. Of course, I was hysterical...Brad is in MN, and I carpooled with someone to work and was standing in my office wondering what the hell I should do...I'm at this point just crying and hoping that she will be ok.

So I hung up and called Brad and then called a friend, Melissa who I work with and she came to my office and first consoled me and then helped me try things together to leave. One by one she hunted down the people I needed to complete my duties, and found my carpool buddy, Dave, who immediately said he would drive me home. She methodically told me what I should & shouldn't worry about and what I should do next. I didn't want to go home because there would be no one there and she told me to call a friend. I had just read an email from my friend Lisa so I called her and Dave drove me over.

I was able to finally talk to Mom and then Dad who were able to tell me that she looked sick, but was awake & alert and by the time I talked to Dad, she was joking around and they were doing more tests.

Wonderful Lisa fed me lunch, listened to me jibber endlessly about what was happening, and drove me to the gym..where I agreed to 2 back to back classes because I was so anxious and crazy, I need to come down. At this point, I knew that she was ok for now and her heart didn't appear to be the problem. Then Mike and Lisa invited me back over for dinner. Seriously, you guys know how to take care of me...I love you guys.

So it turns out that after a bunch of testing, her heart appears fine. It seems that had a sort of episode (Mom, what's it called again?) where since she has been sick and was probably dehydrated and pushing too hard (Mom, Dad, and Gpa, Gma are all moving into a house together in Grundy ~~ they are doing some construction downstairs so that Mom & Dad can have a nice living space) and the doctor said her body just started to shut down. They are keeping her overnight to monitor her heart just in case and will do some tests just to double verify in the morning, but it looks like she will be ok.

Dad you are amazing. I can't imagine being in a van when this happened and seeing her get so sick right before you eyes and you think you may have to revive her...I don't know how you stayed on the road, called the ambulance, and worked on getting her out of the car all at the same time. I just can't imagine...You are truly amazing...A time like this reminds me how valuable your gifts & talents in law enforcement and emergency management*** are and you give back to the world every day. I'd like to think I don't take it for granted (Lord knows I plug LE and EMS whenever I can), but I'm so thankful you were there at the time and could use your skill to assess the situation and do what you do best. Please take care of you, too. We want you around for a long time, too. :) ***(Dad is a Deputy Sheriff and Mom & Dad are EMTs)

Grandpa...I'm so proud of you...I know it has been a rough road this past year and you are encountering enormous pain and more medicine than you want to put up with. Dad told me how you tried to help wake Grandma and how you helped him try to get her out of the van and how you muscled through at the hospital. I know you are not feeling well and how that must have been a difficult moment for you. Most importantly, I am proud that when I was talking to Dad, you were taking time for yourself and going to take a nap. I'm also proud that you let Dad take you home so you could get rest and take your medicine. I know you want to prance around the world like you're 30 (newsflash! you're not!) but it's time to take a break and take care of yourself and let Mom and Dad handle things. I feel like I'm 80 sometimes when I don't take care of myself, so let's just promise to be good to ourselves and act our own ages! :) I can hear you lecturing me about how I push myself too hard....Time to take your own advice, mister! Love you.

Mom, I can't believe how resilient you have been. I am so proud of you and Dad for following through on this "move in" plan that we've been talking about for several years. I know you are working, sorting, cleaning, hauling, moving, shopping, shuttling, painting, constructing, taking care of Gma and Gpa, and helping people at work affected by the tornadoes and flooding. (I didn't even mention the showering, sleeping, eating, napping, and taking time out that you SHOULD be doing!) I know that in your heart you know there is a light at the end of this tunnel and some days it feels like a train headlight coming at you rather than the other side of the tunnel. I might have collapsed, curled up in a corner and slept for 2 weeks straight by now if I was you, but you somehow keep pulling it all together. Remember to take a break and take care of yourself. Moving and working are not worth putting yourself at risk. Every day doesn't have to be "pulled together". Some days, just drop it, rest your arms and shoulders and then pick it all back up in a day or two. It will all be there tomorrow. Remember to call me if you need anything at all...Remember, I'm a big girl, I can handle it and have a responsibility to the family even if I'm way out here. Love you.

And Grandma, Grandma, Grandma, what do I do with you? Who cheers Gpa on when he tells me I work to hard and push myself too hard? Hmmmm? I'll give you 1 guess. Please take this a lesson in what's important and please take care of yourself and each other. Take time out to slow down and do what your bodies say it's time to do. Today was really scary and terrifying and I want you around, too, for a long time. You know I watch way to much Oprah...and one time she said something to this affect... First you get a whisper, and if you don't listen, you get a nudge. If you don't listen, you get a smack to the head. If you don't listen, then you get a brick to the head. If you don't listen to the brick, the brick wall comes down....I know I even wait until I get a brick to the head sometimes, but it's obvious where I get that from, I think! :) A certain set of grandparents I believe donated those genes... :) Please get well and take of you for a while, too. You have spent so many years taking care of all of us and showing us what it is to be a good person and give back to everyone around us. It's time for you to have some timeouts and let the world around you give back for while. Get well soon and I love you.

I'm exhausted from spewing my thoughts and from this hectic day. I will be taking some of my own advice and hitting the hay.

Thanks again Lisa and Mike for being such great friends, today and always.