So live like you'll never live it twice

This week I attended the funeral of a 9 year old little boy who was killed in a boating accident on Eagle Lake. He was the son of a friend I work with. It was the most sad yet uplifting funeral I have ever attended. While it was horrendously sad for his family whose pain is unfathomable, the entire service was dedicated to being a celebration of his life and the blessings he brought to all of those who knew him. He was fun, full of life, and always on the go. That's the way his family wanted the service to be.

During the service, they played a wonderful slide show of pictures from his life and played several songs as a back drop. Nickelback's If Today Was Your Last Day came on. This is one of my favorite songs. I decided long ago to live my life with no regrets and go full speed ahead. While I know I work a lot and I miss out on things I don't want to, I try hard to make up for it when I can. And one side effect of working a lot is meeting a lot of great people who have become life long friends.

Though I only know this little boy's family, this tragedy served as yet another reinforcement of how Brad and I choose to live our life. As the song says "So live like you'll never live it twice". So use the good dishes, drink the good wine, and live everyday with no regret.

Pookie Wookie

Bradley said that Sammy and I have an unnaturally obsessive, spoiling each other type relationship. I told him to stop being jealous of my pookie wookie, caramel, Mexican, sweetie pie, best friend dog.

President's Vacation

I for one, would like the man with one of the most stressful jobs on the planet to take time away and have a vacation so that he can think and make decisions clearly, regardless of his political party. Even George Bush, who I'm not a fan of needs a vacation.

No how matter important your job or how far reaching, time away is necessary.

Obama's Vacation: CNN

One Minute Writer: Phrase

I love One Minute Writer. I love that I am going to get back into reading and writing from it. Love, love, love it!

Today's Prompt: Phrase

What is a phrase you find yourself saying repeatedly?

Holy Crap! I just started working out again: running, pilates, yoga, and kettlebell. I have had several days recently where I have been feeling every muscle in my body. When I try to get out of a chair, "holy crap" I can't believe how stiff my muscles got in 15 minutes!

Breaking Up Is Easy To Do

Anyone who has asked me about our baby efforts recently has had to hear me groan about my doctors. The first two I went to (in the same office) were, well, less than personal. And I am fiercely picky about my doctors. I have had some FANTASTIC doctors in my life and they set the bar HIGH.

In December 2009 I went to the doctor for the first time to truly discuss our futile attempts at parenthood. She was in such a hurry and always looked confused. She told tell me I did (then didn't, then did) have PCOS so then I was confused when I left. Then looked at me like a freak when I told her my husband and I were rarely in the same place the previous 18 months, let alone the same room and awake at the same time. She made me feel like an idiot and kept looking at me like "well you know how babies are made, right?" She seemed to want to focus little on the fact that we were willing to *ahem* attempt parenthood in a scheduled manner if only my cycles were remotely consistent. My cycles having a mind of their own, was truly the reason I was there. If you can't even figure out if it's "the real thing" that you should count, how in the hell can you focus on what day is the "right day". I left there feeling more depressed and like a moron.

In October 2010 I had to go for my yearly check up. This time I got a different doctor, because my doctor is "too busy" to do routine checkups. Ugh. Keep in mind that at this appointment I was feeling ashamed and depressed as I walked through the halls with all of the pictures on the wall, showing off the little miracles they had made happen. I suppose it should have made me feel better that they were able to have success in creating beautiful little angels, yet I never felt more like a failure. And now here I was, going to have to explain the whole thing again to a different doctor. We went through the checkup and she asked me all the same questions, and I answered while trying not to bust into tears. Then she had the IUI nurse come in an explain that process in case we wanted to attempt that. This was the best part of the visit because she was nice and understanding. Then my doctor came back in and sternly instructed me to "keep trying because you're no spring chicken". Are you freaking kidding me?! Thanks. I know I'm nearly considered old in the child bearing world. Thanks for the education. I had no idea how old I am and that I should keep trying. Gosh, thanks for the enlightenment, Jerk. I did actually burst into tears when I got to the car that day.

Then in February I went to Iowa City. The doctor there was fabulous. She was pregnant which I thought was charming and she sat down with us and asked all the usual questions. She took her time and I didn't feel rushed. Then she answered our questions. She told me to get my thyroid under control (from a 7.61 down to 2.5) and then we could try again. She gave me a prescription for a different fertility medicine and said when it was time we could take that and attempt IUI at our regular office in Waterloo.

So where am I going with all of this? Well my thyroid is regulated and I keep having it tested every 3 months so it's technically time to get going. Don't forget, I'm no spring chicken and all. Well, we decided to wait until the fostering class & process was over because that's just too much to mentally, emotionally, and physically take on at one time. I wanted to be easy on myself and not pressure myself into doing anything. In the back of my mind I was cringing at having to go back to that doctor's office. So I did it. I called and asked to make an appointment with the doctor who did one of my tests back in the Spring. I saw her yesterday and told her how I felt with my first two encounters. And then she laughed that she was the one I wanted to see when she had done the "meanest" thing to me during this process. But that day she was so sweet, like I saw her all the time.

So, I reported to her that my cycles still aren't back on track and I don't want to "waste" the few months on this medication we have, because we likely will not be going to IVF. She agreed about not "wasting" it and prescribed the medication I thought she would, one that I had before that gets your girl parts going in the right direction. Once we start that, we should be on a roll. On the way out she asked me some personal questions. We started talking about our foster care journey and she shared her sister works for an agency like Iowa's DHS in another state. She laughed a little and shared that I would probably get pregnant once we started the foster process. Pretty much everyone has said that. I hope they are right. If I had a quarter for everyone who has said that, I could put our first kid through college! And as she said goodbye, she touched me on the shoulder. Now THAT my friends, is a good doctor.

I left this appointment with a smile, knowing I had done the right thing. Breaking up with a doctor or other service provider seems hard. This is the 2nd time I've done it because I believe in my health and that you have to advocate for yourself until you find someone who fits you and what you need.

So now while we wait on our foster license, we re-join the (kind of) natural parenthood process. We will interrupt your regularly schedule programming if there is any breaking news. In the meantime, I feel less frazzled with my doctor and more like this.