Update on Grandpa's health

Grandpa and Sammy are buds. He loves when we bring them to visit. And Sammy loves hanging out on Grandpa's lap.

For the past 2 years, Grandpa just hasn't been the same. He had open heart surgery and had to stop working and then he fell and broke a couple of ribs. The he and Grandma moved to Grundy so they and Mom and Dad could all live together. After the move, he continued to get worse; was disinterested in going out, didn't want to find new coffee buddies, and started to want to lay in bed most hours of the day. Some days his mental health was really in question.

He was on some very strong pain meds and was really having some side effects from them. Long story short, there was an incident at the house and we ended up having him evaluated and his meds evaluated. He got a little better, and we realized the meds were really messing with him, but it became pretty clear that he was frail and was declining and he wouldn't get to go back home.

We took him to a nursing home, but there was another incident and he had to go back to the hospital. His health declined greatly and we weren't sure how much longer he would make it. Then he got sick with pneumonia and they began stopping his meds. The old Grandpa started to come back quickly. That's when we realized how much the pain meds affected him. Well, he complains he is in pain, so it's a catch-22. Don't give him the meds and he has pain; Do and his mental state is altered.....

So he has been in another nursing home since this summer. We know from a brain scan a while back he has dementia but never really knew how bad it is. For a long time, he was very lucid and he seemed fine and we have all found ourselves wondering if he was in the right place. Then something would happen and he mentally wasn't the same again. It's been a huge weight on everyone wondering if we are doing the right thing.

So finally we decided to investigate this dementia/Alzheimer's situation. First I called a friend who works with the elderly to find out where I can get resources and found a local Alz Association here in town. They sent us some information and the doctor list for the area. We decided to take him to a neurologist and just plain get answers. We have never been through dementia before so we just don't know anything about it.

I learned there are different kinds of dementia and they behave differently and progress differently...and I learned about 50 other new things.

I was not ready to just draw the line at he has dementia, off to the nursing home we go. I know he will likely never go home, but I felt we were doing him a disservice by getting this evaluated and not getting him appropriate care for his condition. As I told Dad, he goes to a heart doctor for his heart and we'd take him to a cancer doctor if he had cancer. If he is having mental issues, we need to see a specialist. I was tired of his family doctor just saying this was it and we should deal with it. Deal with what exactly? Deal how?

So this week we got to have that appointment and he also went to his heart doctor. It was a great day of evaluation and information. Here's what we know:

• He has been complaining of his side hurting for more than 2 years (that's why the pain meds). He was told it was his shingles, or the ribs not healing properly. He is convinced that is wires they had going into his chest that they snipped off in recovery. His heart doctor told him he might not be crazy...it could be that there is something there. So he had an x-ray, and we'll find out soon what it is.


• The neurologist said he does have hardening of arteries in his brain, but that it is typical for his age.


• He has some dementia, but further testing will determine what kind


• In March, he will undergo the testing that will determine what kind of dementia


• Even one pain med can cause memory issues (he has been on some of the strongest)


• People his age can be very sensitive to pain meds


• Vitamin deficiencies can cause memory and dementia like symptoms


• He is wanting to ween off all his pain meds to see what he can cut back to (they've already started this a little bit)


• There may be things we can do to slow the dementia down


• While he definitely has dementia, some of the above things may be making it look worse than it really is at this point


• We totally did the right thing by visiting the neurologist

We left there feeling like we were going to get some answers and be able to deal with what is happening and what the future holds...and he is totally on board with the whole process.

He knows he has some dementia and agreed that he wanted to find out what is happening to him, what will come and wants to be a part of the treatment while he can be. He is on board with doing the testing and I think feels like he just wants to have all of the information all of the time.

So this was a great day and he was so excited to hear that his heart doctor is going to investigate his side pain and that he is going to get some testing to just find out where he is mentally.

It was kind of fun to sit next to him in the waiting room explaining to him what the doctor said while Grandma got his information squared away. The doctor had an accent and I think was kind of hard for him to understand. I asked him questions about what was said and what it all means. He was eager to give the answers and learn more. It was great to see him engaging in the world again.

As we left the doctor's office, he gave me a great big hug. Seeing the excitement and joy he got out of us pursuing this process was all worth it.

We go back next Friday so the neurologist can evaluate his lab work and just make sure there is nothing else going on that should be treated while we wait for the day of testing in March.

One more thing I know for sure: No matter what comes out of it or what the prognosis is, this appointment was definitely the right thing...