Nearly every day in the past 10 I have wanted to sit down and blog. Not only to update the 3 (maybe 4 readers I might have) but to just get my crap off my mind. It has been a roller coaster 2 weeks, and a bit exhausting. I really could use like a weeklong nap. Look out. This ones a bit random.
I am trying to get back into my running groove, but my energy drains easily when I start out. I looked up some information on Runner’s World to help me with what I should eat and when, so we’ll see how it goes. I learned a lot of new things and went shopping twice this week to pick up some things the articles suggested.
To say that I am unhappy with my weight/body at this point would be an understatement. I have gained 10 pounds since last summer and then made it through the holidays with no gain. Then January came and apparently so did 5 more pounds. It’s no much that I worry that I’m “fat”, it’s more about how my close fit. I gain 95% of my weight in my stomach. This causes me two problems. The first is my pants don’t, at all and the second is that any shirt that is not huge makes me look like I’m pregnant. And since I’m not, I don’t really feel like defending that I’m not. Ugh. I’m just more disappointed that I got myself back to this point. So I’m adding more exercising and decreasing calorie intake.
I am able to function (kind of) on smaller amounts of sleep, however, at this point in my life, lack of sleep really negatively affects me. It makes me gain weight, makes me depressed, sleepy, cranky, and unmotivated. My priority above anything else right now, is getting enough sleep.
**Warning, this part of the blog contains references to girlie parts!** After a couple of months of consultation, testing, etc, it seems that I am going to have to resort to a low dose of fertility medicine in order to get my ovaries to obey my commands…ok kidding…But they are not giving up their eggs regularly, so….there is apparently nothing plant based or more natural I can try to regulate my cycle. So next month, off we go.
This week has been especially rough. On Friday night last week I saw a posting on Facebook to prayer my friend, Jamie’s mom & her family. Her mom was also my middle school Language Arts teacher and ran a mentoring program when I was a senior in high school. Jamie’s dad fell last summer and broke his neck and I was worried when I saw the post that something happened to him. (He was my middle school science teacher). I couldn’t find any info about what happened and woke up Brad and asked him if he had heard anything. Nothing. I did not sleep well and had a bad dream about the situation. When I got up the next morning. I saw a text from my mom: Mrs. Lebo passed away last night. I was devastated. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. I instantly felt sick for Jamie and her family. Brad and his family have embarked on the journey that her family was about to embark on, and frankly, it sucks.
I could hardly keep it together and called my best friend from high school, Laura. Jamie and Laura were best friends growing up and lived across the street from each other. When Laura answered the phone I really couldn’t hold back the tears. She filled me and told me that Mrs. Lebo had a heart attack, but that Jamie and her family were able to get to the hospital and say goodbye. I was so thankful for that, but my heart was breaking for what they must be going through.
On Sunday, Laura and I headed over to Jamie’s house after dinner. We stayed for 3.5 hours. We just sat and talked. Talked about Mrs. Lebo, decisions their family was going to have to make, about what we have been doing in life. Jamie and I were not close during high school, but were what I would definitely call friends. We were in lots of sports and other things together. The last year or so, we have reconnected on FB and on blogs. It was the crappiest of circumstances to get caught up, but it was like we all were just catching up about last week. It was easy, there were tears, there was laughter. But two things were clear. Mrs. Lebo made more of an impact on my life that I had even realized and that I have two dear friends that I need to see more.
The biggest thing I realized about Mrs. Lebo is that she shaped the mentor that I am today. In several positions I have held, I have always tried to be the go to person, the person you could seek out if you needed help or guidance, a mentor. I realized that the mentoring program, called Trusted Readers, that Mrs. Lebo ran when we were seniors, taught me how to be that ear, that listener, that advisor. She truly helped me become the person I am today. There are so many other things that have come up this week about her impact on my life. I’ll save those for later.
I spent probably 2+ hours also just talking to Laura. Even when we were in Virginia, we never lost touch, always exchanged Christmas letters, saw each other about once a year. But the time we’ve spent this week was great. We caught up on so much, talked about the good ol days, and about our lives now. I also expected to spend only a short time with Jamie, but I saw and talked to her 3 times this week. If there is one ounce of good that can be taken from Mrs. Lebo’s passing, friends have reconnected. And not the “hey let’s get together” and then it nevers happens type…. But the real, we’ll be the ones to get together type. I didn’t even think about the fact that Laura and Jeremy are teachers and have the summer off (except for classes she’s taking). My schedule seems to jive with no one else’s on the planet. But I can definitely make the 2.5 hour trip to see her and her family on my days off during the summer! Brad and I also have plans to head to Des Moines a few times, so we will definitely make time to visit Jamie and her family, too. It’s so mind boggling how bittersweet a week can be.
I’m sure there’s more to catch up on – But I actually tired and it’s time to honor that sleeping thing I talked about. My blog posts need more pictures. I don’t have a ton of recent ones, but Kelly and I are trying to have more fun. Here is a picture from a few weeks ago on a trip that we took the metropolis of Dysart, IA. It really was fun!
Posted by dredellie in thoughts. Tagged: blab, friends, my oxygen mask, running, sleep. 2 Comments
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