So make the best of this test, and don’t ask why

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road, Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go. So make the best of this test, and don’t ask why, It’s not a question, but a lesson learned in time ~Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) by Green Day

Beware – posting has updates regarding my girlie parts.

The last 9 months have been an interesting journey regarding fertility. Recently, I’ll admit, I’ve been sick of peeing on sticks to test for the ovulation hormone. With the craziness of my cycle, it was very hard to tell if/when I was ovulating at all. I have taken Clomid 2 months in a row and still got a negative on my test (my schedule complications things because you are supposed to test at the same time every day).  Even my lab came back negative for the hormone last month. I told Brad that I don’t even care if we have a chance to get pregnant in a month, if that dang test would be positive just once so I knew my ovaries were cooperating.

Last week I started having cramps (like the monthly kind) and I chalked it up to all that’s going on in my body, especially since I should have been ovulating during the week. (all of my tests had been negative) On Friday, I could hardly stand up. I took some Midol and went to work, but was in a lot of pain. Basically it felt like someone was ripping my right ovary out my body. I called the doctor’s office and she told me that they think it’s just a cyst and to take ibuprofen and if that doesn’t work, go to the ER, because it’s something else. And then she told me that my labs for this month came back. My hormone level was great! She said last month it was 1.3 and this month it was 20 something! The meds are working!

The doctor’s nurse that I usually talk to called me back today, because she wasn’t there on Friday when I called. She said this is very common with people on Clomid and cysts flare up. She said that my ultrasound came back and said that I do have several small cysts around both of my ovaries and that this could continue. Oh, fun. I can’t wait for next month.

So make the best of this test, and don’t ask why… I really do believe that everything happens for a reason, and even though we are only a few months into this infertility thing, sometimes it’s hard for me to be patient. Especially when so many people get pregnant with babies they don’t want or can’t take care of. But I really have tried to make the best of this test…spent the time trying to figure out what changes we are going to have to make when we get pregnant, deciding how I want to take care of myself, and just plain trying to get myself a little bit sane. I like to plan things. This has allowed me to wrap my head around what things will be like. Keeping my nephews 2 weekends out of the month helped that, too. I really got a test of what having little ones around is like: fun, but crazy.

So I’ll keep making the best and avoid asking why. Everything will turn out exactly the way it was meant to be.

Maybe this time next year, this will be me. 

9AUG